Excerpts from the Edinburgh fringe 2005
- Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation. - Jimmy Carr
- The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears. - Chris Addison at the Pleasance
- My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs. - Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon
- The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be sh*tting herself. - Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance
- My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get meto sleep at night. - Susan Murray at the Underbelly
- You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening.. Self-raising?" - Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms
- The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face. - Jeremy Limb, at the Trap
- I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help". - Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron
- Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.Turned out it was a bloody hoax. - Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance
- Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. - Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms
- Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda. - Brendon Burns at the Pleasance
- It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake. - Chris Addison at the Pleasance
- I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it. - Arnold Brown at The Stand
posted by Sitting Chicken at 6:40 am
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